How?

I looked past the "mistakes" and the lies, waiting to be surprised but unfortunately, it's always the same. Other than the excuses, nothing changes. How do you say "I love you" but put your heart in other hands? How can you know what's meant to be but turn away in times of need? How do you admit to being wrong but continue to sing the same song repeatedly? All I know for certain is that I love and I care. I'd like to think I could depend more on there being a tomorrow or the next day but not even that is as sure as I am. My heart woke me up and told me and I have no choice but to listen and agree. After all, it is an important part of me. She has become much the same. My face has become her name. My mind has become her body. Alas, I can count the number of times I've been able to count on her on one hand. Luckily, I have two hands.