Overture

I tried as hard as I could and when that didn't work I tried again. I tried many more times than I probably ever should have. It got me nowhere. I wasted so much of my time, heart, and my mind. I'm completely worn out. I'm tired and sore and broken. I feel numb besides the literal pain I can feel in my heart. I'm so alone. Even when I'm around people, I feel so isolated. I hate the fact that I for once in my life was starting to feel proud of myself and gaining a sense of optimism toward my future. This has ruined it all. It's crushed any ambition and desire and passion. I feel so careless toward anything now. My mind is encased in her. I can't get past it. I can't stop. I constantly feel like I'm going to vomit as the thoughts cross my mind and I ache. I miss a million things about her that fuck my head up. I miss feeling like anything mattered. I miss feeling like I mattered. They've all dismissed me as relevant to their lives and to their hearts as they are to mine. I think I'm dead. I know I'm dead inside. I can't think straight and when I try to distract myself, my distractions are distracted by the thoughts of her. There's no getting past it. It's not changing. She's too stubborn to let herself know or accept it. I'm too naive to accept that there's no chance. Alas, this is the end...